A WHOLE NEW WORLD

So I've had my first Californian Home Depot experience. One I will never forget and yet we never got out of our supped up/gas guzzlin' mini-van "upgrade":




(I believe the car rental place is owned by exxon).

Now I'm used to rolling up to my Home Depot, loading up a cart full of mulch, maybe wasting some time and money in the tool department and leaving wondering why I couldn't find one person to help me load all that shit into the back of my truck. Home Depot Hollywood is a totally different beast. A block before we even hit the entrance, the sidewalk was lined with Mexicans gesturing at all trucks that passed by. There was even security at the parking to attempt to deal with the situation????

Now unlike my co-worker I didn't feel the best solution for this problem was to put up an INS station at the Depot - Lou Dobbs has not brainwashed me yet - however I am ashamed to say I was glad we decided to go to a different one the next day and while I did not roll my window up (too hot for this East Coast girl) I did appear to fake a neck injury that mad it impossible to move me head from side to side.

I wish my grandfather could see LA these days. I've been here five days and covered a lot of ground. Every roadside crew, every chambermaid, every person breaking a sweat couldn't be mistaken for a very tan caucasian. Not to preach, but I think california would crumble into the Pacific faster than even Bill Hicks predicted if some americans had it their way. Not that I'd really shed a tear, so far I've had muggy weather in March, many hours sitting in traffic and been told that tomorrow a film shoot start outside my hotel room... LA LA LAND INDEED.

BACK ON TOUR AGAIN, WAIT NO PRE PRODUCTION SORRY

Yes I made it to LA LA land. Too tired to write the first night - flew in and went straight to the bands rehearsal studio to prep gear. Too busy peeling old electrical tape off XLR cables last night; and yes I did wake up this morning with my cable tester imprinted on my cheek. No wonder I didn't sleep well.

Had an incredibly hectic day today, turned out the band wanted to start rehearsing tonight when we were thinking tomorrow. A mad rush to at least get thing set up to working order. Got to meet the new drummer. Surprisingly down to earth so far considering his drum tech who's been with us since Saturday gave I different impression. Suffice to say he was taking pictures of the hotel room to show him what it looked liked and he'd been complaining and pointing out the Mariott he'd stayed in. I'm sorry, but to me at a hotel a bed is a bed as long as there is running water and your wake up call isn't some one breaking in.

Yes I know this blog is absurd as it is being written on a macbook, but that's me

Ah my new obsession. I only have 10 days till I'm back on the road and the minutes are ticking down. How many albums can I get onto my ipod before doomsday comes? Screw getting my taxes done - you never know when you'll want to break out Kraftwerk or Brazilian football drumming on the bus...

And it's like a never ending league chart - alternative/punk is ahead, rock has got the heart and never underestimate the underdog r&b (my stax records collection has yet to be added). Sorry world music, you're women's lacrosse.

And, yes dad, I did buy an ipod. I feel like I should hang my head in shame. Even my overly attentive Best Buy nametag was wondering why I looked like I wanted to strangle the demo. Oh well even the mighty must fall and I could do it in much worse, but spectacular ways.

A WORD TO THE WISE

NEVER EVER EVER ACCEPT A HOUSE SHOW THE DAY AFTER YOU GET BACK FROM TOUR.

NOT ONLY DO YOU WALK AROUND IN CIRCLES TALKING TO YOURSELF MORE THAN USUAL (YES THERE HAVE BEEN MANY A SCARED PEOPLE TO REALISE THERE WAS NO BLUE TOOTH GOING ON) YOU RUN THE RISK OF RIPPING YOUR FRIEND'S TOILET PAPER HOLDER OFF THE DOOR THINKING IT'S THE DOOR HANDLE.

AHHHHHH SLEEP DEPRIVATION....

QUICK RECAP VOL 1

As I have been quite bad at keeping everything up to date I thought I would look at the back of my laminate to remind me where I have been recently and write whatever I could think of about those places/shows. So:

Billings, MO - ... - - ... wow.

Denver, CO - Just another show, though I did have the crow's nest mixing position. Sucks for actually hearing what is happening down there but as the drummer put it at least I get to "look down on all us mere mortals. Also had the opportunity to meet up with some of my old neighbors from when I was a little kid. Was wonderful other than my old babysitter showing the whole bus a picture of me when I was 4. My whole bad-ass is now shot.

St Paul, MN - Don't you just love playing shit holes where the house techs just love talking about what they don't know? I knew it was going to be a good day when I walked in on them ringing out the wedges, "hey take out 1k, no maybe that was 2k, hmmm" (and that was with smart on their laptop). Oh well, the more they liked to talk the more I could keep them distracted from the red lights on the amps. No I don't blow rigs up I just have to see how far they can go every once and awhile. Blows the dust off of them.

Milwaukee, WI - Most haunted venue in the country supposedly. Should bring my cousin Liz there one day. Does have a great history: HUGE mason's lodge (secret tunnels and all) that was then rented out to white supremacists. Later had a gay club where Jeffery Dahmer picked up his victims. Of course I did not hear any screams of tortured souls only the god damn kick drum coming back at me on stage four times. Why can't I change the laws of physics?

Chicago, IL - The House of Stairs and the amazing undulating stage.

Toronto, ON - Of course it's the first day of the live DVD shoot that everything goes wrong. Bad monitor cables, trigger cables getting pulled out, bass volume getting turned up to 11 out of nowhere. I BLAME IT ALL ON THE VIDIOTS.

Montreal, QUE - Didn't care what happened at the show, I got a home-cooked meal that night. Best possible thing you can recieve on the road.

New York, NY - Only day bands members were late for bus call. Doesn't seem like a big deal unless you know that you can't run the bus generator on the street there. Hence we all sat around with our coats on and flashlights out cursing their names.

Towson, MD - Considering in everyone's head the New York show was our last, not much is remembered about this one - other than or make shift bar we had on stage. Um still probably the worst sound system we had all tour. Made all the better by the fact that I found out that this was the last show using that rig and the next day the whole thing was getting ripped out and a brand new system being put in. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGG.

Anyway till the next tour.....

OH CANADA

So first I had a problem with America, now it is Canada's turn. And no it is not with the border crossing. Both times have been quite painless. I did feel sorry for the dog's nose as it sprinted onto the bus. Not for the frustration of knowing something was there, but not being able to find it (probably a bit like looking through my fridge at college), but man I have a cold and I still can smell men and old socks on this bus. Poor dog.

Now my problem with Canada. You talk to Canadians and they are so self-rightous about their superiority to America when it comes to commercialisation and what not. So what the hell is "Family Day"? We awoke this morning for a nice day off - buy some more gloves, socks, some decongestant, etc - to be told by the bus driver that EVERYTHING was closed bar one restraunt. Turns out it's a damn holiday created last year. Despite this, other than Christmas, it is the only holiday where everything closes. I spent my day off watching the worst, yet strangly hypnotic and amusing drumming instructional video ever.

Thanks a lot Canada.

STUFFED

Ugh don't feel like doing a rush load-in right now. Always a pain doing a House of Blues on a Sunday. Gospel Brunch. At least the omlettes are good....